So it is well known that my pup was neutered against my wishes. It’s a damn tragedy because I am certain my boy would have been a tremendous lover. He adores me, follows me, is very attentive and will listen to only me.
I am his alpha in life. However when he and I are alone, he becomes my secret Alpha. There are times when he will force his nose between my legs and will sniff deeply, lap at me gently and with great intent then will leave looking confused. I feel bad for him. No matter how much I try to help him, it’s clear that the neutering is a huge issue that has caused a barrier that we cannot cross.
But he loves me in other ways, by licking me, by being my Emotional Support Animal, by forcing me to lay down when I have migraines, by spooning with me a night, by loving me with his heart. I just wish we could consummate our love in the fully physical way that I know would make the both of us feel amazing and connect us in a way that I have never been connected to with another animal.