ArtOfZoo Rumour Mill - X&X

Dear X&X,

firstly my apologies for ILZ contacting your recently attempting to rebuild bridges. The guy really is too kind hearted for his own good, I will continue trying to toughen him up in preparation to take over the reigns of Gaia when it it is my time to travel to the nextlife.

I can forgive most things, given a little time. The one cardinal showstopper of a rule for me personally, is betrayal. I didn’t put up with it from KK, or anyone else. As such, it was never my intention to invite you back with us. Long before that would even be a consideration, you have reparations and apologies to make. Whether you have sufficient integrity to walk that path, time will tell.

Also, hooking up with an abusive and sneaky shitbag of an ex-producer who fancies himself Adam on the basis of owning an Adam t-shirt. By name and by nature, that chap will get his in due course when I decide the time is right to pay him a visit for a quiet chat. If you do not know what happens in that event, better ask somebody. And despite being told how this person has abused and blackmailed a lovely innocent, much loved petgirl within my family, you continued on with tongue-in-ass because, I quote ‘you are only interested in the money’. Please take that and pop it where the sun don’t shine.

A number of points to clarify with you. Since you became our partners over a decade ago, we have dutifully sold your movies, and as per our usual agreement, split sales commissions with you. In case you are struggling with the simple maths – SALES means money coming into the pot. Sales does not include money going out of the pot. It seems you feel that when we are winning, you get paid. And when we hit a snag, that I should pay you out of my own pocket. I am not your mother, and you are not my employees. A partner means a share in the bad, as well as the good. And much as I’m sure you would like, if there is no money on the table, that is what you get a share in. Simple economics. Show me one investment situation where you win whether you win or lose, I expect you cannot. If you could, then all the banks in the world would be animal pornographers, and so would everyone else. There are risks in any business, and given the grey-area legality of our work, moreso with us.

This is currently the 21st Century. I have a feeling that, by now, you have used a credit card, and perhaps purchased something online. You will then no doubt be aware of what a chargeback is. If you don’t know what that is, Google it. That is when an asshole customer purchases a movie, then contacts his or her credit card company pretending that he didn’t buy that product. The credit card company then refunds that money to him, yanking it out of our pot, and back into his pocket. They call it ‘friendly fraud’, there is nothing friendly about it. This is money taken out of the communal pot. Therefore, you do not get a split of that. And if you expect me to pay that to you, I refer you to the above.

This has always been the situation with our work. Since the beginning, money has gone in and out, and at the end of each month, completed sales have been split. Until recently, you never saw the ups and downs. You had the foresight to trust us, and us you. Unfortunately, with GG I made the mistake of building a realtime accounts system for you, so you could see more clearly how your monthly finances were doing. Being real time, this showed funds coming in, but also funds going out.

Instead of just asking me, you said nothing and began ruminating. Probably gossiping with your other old wives circle. And going on to concoct stories about how we are ‘manipulating sales data’. We are not manipulating anything, the system is – based upon the reality of the situation. I hope you can get your heads around that concept, it seems you have been struggling so far.

Since day one, it has been my raison d’etre to try to make more money for pet producers. We always have paid way more than other publishers, and done our utmost to go way and beyond in our support and promotion of their work. Despite all the problems and headaches it has caused us over the years. We have dutifully paid sales commissions to you, and proceeded under the principle that treating people well is usually rewarded with likewise conduct. In this case, not so much. Given that, why the fuck would I aim to pay you more, to then fuck you? I don’t need to fuck you, or anyone. We make our money by treating people well and taking care of them. If you will pull fantastical nonsense out of the air, I have one for you. Hand your land and farmhouse over to me, because God said so.

Another point. I built that accounting system, line by line, as I built the entire previous Gaia / ArtOfZoo / Gaia Gold network. I had complete control over everything you saw. If I can build a complex account system like that, you honestly think I couldn’t fucking write it to hide ‘accounts being manipulated’? To do that would have taken me 3 more lines of code. I didn’t need to do that, because I thought you understood how online commerce worked. The only person fucking you, it seems, is yourself.

Your betrayal was particularly distasteful because I believed we were friends. For over 10 years we supported you and protected you. We promoted your work and your lifestyle, and put all our contacts onto you, from which you span a very nice sideline in private parties – without at any point thinking to involve us in that. You produced some nice material yes, again, on the strength of our support. We lent you money when you needed it, stood by you. When Stray and I hit a rough patch about 7 years ago, we asked if you would be able to look after Animal and Elvis for a few months while we got ourselves in order. You did not even bother to reply. Nice people.

So. Do please carry on telling people that we manipulate sales, now people have both sides of the story. Should I ever decide to forgive you, which currently I feel is unlikely – I will let you know when I have managed to grow the magical money tree that you imagine Gaia to be. Until then, I wish you all the best of luck with your future endeavours and production, even with the socks. From what you have told ILZ, I understand things are not going so well over there. Well, roll around in shit, you tend to get smeared, what can I tell you.

I ain’t mad at ya, even if it sounds like I am. I can still love you, doesn’t mean I have to like you – for now.

All the best,


Published in The Rumour Mill
  1. adjudicator 3 weeks ago

    This is the most well educated and professional sledged I have read in a long time.. just by taking the time to be professional about it and not just rant and rave.. I think you have proved your point. I still think this wanker needs a visit.. but hey.. some fuckers just need a beating.. really cool post mate. Goodonya.

  2. thewolfbrother 6 months ago

    Quite the salacious bit of gossip. Sounds like somebody was a real heel. Hope things are looking up.

  3. curiouscd 8 months ago

    I do not know exactly who you are talking about. But I might be able to fathom a guess. I don’t know any of the details either. I have heard bits and pieces of rumors through the various online groupings of the zoo world. But I give as much credence to them as I do to the people who bitch about your work, mainly because you dare to ask to be paid for it. So I can not judge or take sides. It just seems like a shitty deal all together. Whatever did happen. And I hate seeing this sort of thing go on between friends and business partners.

    I do hope that you all will be able to come to understandings with each other, and repair the fences and bridges and whatever, eventually. Or at the very least that everyone just gets over it and stops squabbling and causing drama. It is very sad to see.

    I think this open letter is a mature way of confronting it. And I hope it somehow inspires the other party into reconsidering things.

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