This article may upset some people. To be fair, I suspect those people were upset to begin with. So I shall make no apologies.
Let me ask you, all of you. Ever man, woman and child out there. Person A has a shiny new car, and is quite pleased about it. Person B does not have a shiny new car. Person A’s car is very nice, we probably wouldn’t mind having that car ourselves. Person B does not seem to appreciate Person A’s new car. Person B says he would prefer to have a different brand of car. And he doesn’t like the colour. And also, the wheels are too big.
As far as you can see, a black car looks perfectly okay, and the wheels are really the same size as any other car wheels.
At this point, do you A. revisit your decision as to whether the colour is so bad that that the entire car does not warrant a single nice thing said about it? Do you agree with Person B, that actually the wheels could be smaller?
Or do you B. imagine that Person B is probably a bit jealous about Person A’s car. A bit bent out of shape. And do you find such open insecurity attractive in a person?
I will go out on a limb and assume that, unless you have no understanding of human nature whatsoever, that you will most likely go with option B.
There is an amusing trend surfacing on any number of sites around the interweb. Apparently, now, it’s not cool to be a gentleman. Apparently, now, such things fall under the heading of ‘white knight’, ‘cuck’ and so on.
When and where I was raised, it was desirable to develop the traits associated with being a gentleman. There are many good reasons for that. Firstly, it is an indicator of your intellect and upbringing. Typically, good manners were taught and encouraged by intelligent families. The child’s good manners were an indication both of the family’s social and intellectual level, and also that of the childs.
Secondly, good manners are very useful in social situations. Good manners help you to make friends, and navigate all manner of different social circles. Since it’s not really possible to be successful without the aid of other people, it’s generally considered good practice around the world to extend good manners to the people you meet. People are much more likely to help you if they like you. And they are more likely to like you if you are not rude to them. Simple logic.
IF a Lady be physically more vulnerable than a man – which is not always the case, there are plenty of stone cold killers of the fairer sex – but in the event that she is in fact not well endowed physically or aggressively, a man standing up for a woman, or indeed anybody less able to protect themselves – this is the mark of a noble spirit. This is ‘I am so slick, that not only can I look after myself, I can look after those around me too’. This is, generally, the kind of trait that people look up to and admire in others. This is the mark of the alpha male.
And let us not forget. I personally guarantee that you will have far more luck with the opposite sex if you exhibit good manners.
Bad manners were generally the mark of poor social skills, substandard upbringing, inferior intellect. Therefore, displaying bad manners was something best avoided.
Does being a gentleman equal weakness or being unmanly? Of course not. One is still perfectly able and willing to punch another chap in the chops if and when the situation warrants it. As to one’s healthy attitude towards the Ladies – Ladies generally prefer a chap to not be too smooth and soft. I am happy to say that – if you will pardon the expression – I am quite happy to ‘smack a bitch up’, behind closed doors, and provided it is to the Lady’s taste at that particular time.
Regarding that phrase, it is of course said in jest. Let’s not be like the Beastie Boys – after releasing a record suggesting dildoing an underage girl with a whiffle ball bat in an early track – then turning around and complaining that The Prodigy’s record ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ was inappropriate. I expect none of us would like be quite that hypocritical.
So, no. Being a gentleman doesn’t really indicate anything other than smarts and upbringing. You can be as gnarly a rough old sea dog as you like. Good or bad manners simply dictate how many friends you have, or don’t have.
You may be aware, there is currently a movement of ‘Men going their own way’. For such chaps, the opposite sex is apparently too much like hard work. Dating Ladies costs money. Dating Ladies takes time, and effort. And, apparently, women are quite unreasonable for demanding equal rights.
Like the shiny car example above – do we A. think, actually yeah, women are so very unreasonable. Or do we B. think that uh, the situation smells very much like said chaps are not entirely winning with the Ladies. Because, in my experience, the little deft effort expended in courting a Lady is generally amply rewarded as one dives between said Lady’s legs. Beating one’s own meat furiously, mumbling ‘bloody women, who cares if they don’t want to talk to me, I didn’t want to date them anyway’ – I honestly don’t think I would like to be quite that uncool.
Incidentally, you don’t get mad about such people. Dumb is usually not a conscious choice. You wouldn’t get angry at someone if they were born with one arm. You will simply understand that such is the nature of life, and you might do what you can to pick up the slack for those less able than you. For the same reason you shouldn’t really get mad at people for missing an amount of brainpower. They usually can’t help it. Doesn’t mean you have to join in, though.
So chaps. Should you frequent the kind of websites I am talking about here – don’t be fooled. Stick to your guns eh. It isn’t remotely cool to be ignorant or display bad breeding. You all please continue to try to be the best men you can possibly be. And you watch – in a few years time, when all the men going their own way have died out due to lack of female interaction, you will be quite pleased that you did.
Thank you for reading 🙂Published in