ArtOfZoo - Being a Good Dom - dog sex slave

 

I am a relatively new member to the site and have just recently been verified as an owner. I am also an experienced Dom. Let me preface this by saying that while I was only introduced to petsex recently (about a year ago), I have been a Dom in the more traditional sense for almost a decade. Before I joined AoZ I was an active member on a number of fetish sites, but during that time I have noticed something that seems to crop up again, and again, and again… there is always an abundance of self-proclaimed Dom/Domme/Dominants that have absolutely no idea what that title means.

These are the jokers who pop up in chat with some halfway condescending or rude message that is meant to come across as dominant or ‘alpha’. I have a number of female friends, both Domme and Sub, who are active members on other fetish sites and communities, and the stuff they receive from wannabe ‘Doms’ is even worse.

That’s not being a Dom, that’s being an asshole.

I am going to generalize here, every person is different and some few may actually enjoy treatment as outlined above, but generally speaking one of the largest allures of the sub lifestyle is the ability to turn off your brain and focus entirely on the experience, to explore all of your most shameful, dark desires in a way that mitigates at least some of your own responsibility for the shenanigans you partake in (this is a huge topic in its own right, but I will leave that for another time), and above all, in a way that is safe and supported. It is a Dom’s job to create this environment of support and safety.

That’s right boys and girls – being a Dom is a lot of responsibility and all about being supportive and trustworthy, not just getting your own way. You need to take care of anyone who is subbing for you.

With that in mind, I thought I might write a short guide on how to be a good Dom for anyone who is genuinely interested in being one, or for any new subs out there who want to know what they should expect from their Dom. Please keep in mind that this advice is all based on my own opinion and experience, so take that for what you will. If there is enough interest, I may write a longer, more detailed guide in the future.

Note: I have written this from the male perspective, that’s just my perspective and I find that the easiest. I know many great female dommes, and many male subs. Don’t read too much into it. 😉 P

You are the Servant
Okay, let’s get this one out of the way right at the top. Despite the power play and elements of the dynamic that may suggest otherwise, you are there to serve and support your sub, not the other way around. It is all about her fantasies (even the ones she may not admit to herself) and finding a way to explore them in a safe and supportive way. It is absolutely not about forcing your fantasies onto her.

This is one of the biggest misunderstandings of the lifestyle both from people outside, and inside the scene. Doms (at least the good ones) don’t fetishize power and control – or at least not just those elements – their kink lies in providing someone else with sensations and emotions that they have never experienced before. Doms derive the majority of their satisfaction from being the person to bring such a heightened state of pleasure and euphoria to someone in their care. Being in that position of control means the quality of the sex, and the pleasure of all parties is entirely your responsibility. No pressure.

In short, you get off on getting her off.

Trust
I wish I could bold that more. T R U S T ! There we go.
A Dom/sub relationship is predicated on trust above all else and it cannot work without it! There is absolutely no exception to this. A power and control arrangement that lacks trust is not Dom/sub, it is at best unfulfilling and at worst abusive.

Remember what I said before about creating an environment of safety and support? Would you feel safe with, and supported by someone you don’t trust? Of course not. As I mentioned above, this arrangement is all about providing a judgement free environment in which your sub is able to explore all of their darkest desires. This makes being a sub a role of inherent vulnerability as you submit yourself to the whims and control of another, while at the same time as exposing parts of yourself to them that you wouldn’t dare share with another living soul. If you can’t trust your Dom completely then you will hold back these desires, leaving you unfulfilled and totally defeating the purpose of the arrangement. However, and this is a big however, despite this vulnerability the sub is actually in control, not the Dom. Yes, the sub may be giving control of the moment to their Dom, but that control is theirs to give and revoke as they please. Be worthy of it.

As I am sure you can all relate – building trust takes time. Insults, humiliation and degradation may be fine – even extremely hot – once trust has been established and the roleplaying is in full swing, but you don’t fucking lead with that… you lunatic!

Communication
Again, back to my earlier point about creating an environment in which your sub feels supported and safe to indulge in her wildest kinks – notice a trend here? – in order to do that properly, it is going to be pretty fucking critical for you to know what those kinks are!

It is perhaps even more critical to know what those kinks are not! Your job is to push your sub right to – even a little bit past – her limits, but never to break them. Let’s apply this to dog-sex, shall we? If your sub has expressed an interest in playing with a dog, it behooves you to consider the following:

Does the dog need to be experienced? How experienced?

Does breed matter? Would she prefer a smaller, less threatening breed for the first time, or is the raw power and intimidating stature of a Dane or Bullmastiff the main attraction for her?

Does she want to have full intercourse on her first time, or just experiment with some oral? Dildogging? Does she want to try and take the knot? Anal, or no anal?

What are you going to do if the animal ties with her unexpectedly, or if the knot is larger than expected and she starts to panic?

Is she okay with the owner watching? Does she want to play with the owner as well? Before, after, or while having sex with the pet? Does the owner know this?

There are a hundred other things to consider, but the important thing is that they are considered. To understand what your sub does and doesn’t want, you will need to either clearly and calmly discuss this all with her, or understand her intimately and completely – which is a foundation based, shockingly, on a history of open and honest communication.

This rule extends into playtime itself. Although you may have worked out all the details prior to sexy-times, that doesn’t mean that those conditions can’t change from moment to moment, and it is your responsibility as the Dom to react and adapt to those changes as they arise. This is particularly important when trying new things out for the first time. For example, there is a world of difference between your sub getting extremely turned on watching dog-sex movies while you fuck every night, and actually having a dog cock inside her. The reality of a situation is rarely how you imagine it. Hopefully this is in a good way more often than not, but you cannot rely on this and need to have clearly communicated boundaries and contingencies planned ahead of time.

So, those are my Big 3. I could extend this out to a Big 5 pretty easily, and write a novel on each, but honestly, so long as you have the above three things then you probably have a pretty solid foundation and can work out the rest of it for yourself as you build something that works for everyone involved.

And for fuck’s sake, have a safe word!

It’s not my intent to be preachy, but hopefully at least a few people found this useful or interesting. Let me know what you think!

Thanks to all of you wonderful people!
Dom Canine

Published in Member Blogs, The Kennel: Dog Sex Training
22 Comments
  1. EllieErotique 3 months ago

    This is such a great article. It’s so nice to see someone FINALLY calling this kind of shit-fuckery out!
    I am a dedicated sub, have been for most of my sexual life, and it is just sooooo hard to find good Dom’s who know their role and how to take care of their subs. You sound like an amazing and safe Dom. Any sub would lucky to have you 🥰

  2. davejj82 3 months ago

    I really like this article! I totally agree with what DomCanine describes. Hope many Masters will read that 🙂 Are there Videos available at AOZ with Master/BigDog/Subgirl-constellation?

    • Adam 3 months ago

      We are on the case.

      • davejj82 3 months ago

        Hi Adam, If I see the available Videos on the page… I really think Fantazi (…from “Santa Baby… I’ve been an awful Good Girl…” ) would be a really good slave 😉
        Fantazi together with a bad strict Master and a big ‘Bordeaux Bulldog’… that would be a real dream!

  3. Tibero 4 months ago

    Great article, I think the point about actually being the servant is one that is so misunderstood outside the community – and as you say, often within it. Thanks for posting

  4. littlemerju 4 months ago

    very good article 🙂

  5. NaughtyKnotter 5 months ago

    Dom Canine…
    great article,
    I was in the scene for some time & had a lot of experience in Shibari ( the art of tying )
    I quickly learned that i was the one serving & honoring the person subbing for me.
    It is a lot of responsibility to top someone… & thank you for your post.
    a great reminder of safe & sane play.

    these words jumped off the page for me.
    You are the Servant
    Despite the power play and elements of the dynamic, you are there to serve and support your sub.
    It is all about her fantasies (even the ones she may not admit to herself) and finding a way to explore them
    in a safe and supportive way. It is absolutely not about forcing your fantasies onto her.

  6. Wulfgirl1424 5 months ago

    I appreciate the communication portion of your post when applied to K9. Hopefully your post helps others

    • Adam 5 months ago

      Wulfie! I thought you’d forgotten about us since doggy put that red rocket on the table 😉

  7. Thewolfbrother 5 months ago

    God damn PREACH, Im not even a dom and i know some of these things are CRUCIAL

  8. PnkWetSlit 5 months ago

    This was an Awesome read! You’ve called out just about every internet “Dom” I’ve encountered in my quest to find one. This blog is so helpful to a sub who longs for the lifestyle, is new to the experiecnce and can benefit from pointers to spot and cut the fakers immediately. I’ve wasted SO much time & energy over the years with them. You teased of writing more…as I was reading I thought this should be a whole series, this sub would be much better because of it! Yes Please, MORE, More, more!! 🙂

    • Author
      DomCanine 5 months ago

      Haha, thanks PnkWetSlit. I’m glad you liked it. Yeah my intent was certainly to write some more of these if people seemed to like them. So far the response has been really positive, so now I just need to get my ass into gear and write the next one 🙂

      I’m sorry to hear that you have had such a rough experience finding a Dom. If you wanted to reach out for a chat I would love to know more about what your experience has been like, and I can try and include those points in future blogs. I have plenty of sub friends more than willing to share their experience in D/s, but far less so when it comes to subs looking for Doms who share an interest in pet-sex specifically. Given some things Adam has written in the past about having to wade through the fakes and time wasters in this kind of community as well, I can only imagine what it must be like trying to combine the two.

  9. CheyZan 5 months ago

    I really loved reading that. You sound like a wonderful and safe person to know.

    • Author
      DomCanine 5 months ago

      Thanks CheyZan. Honestly I have just had the extreme fortune to have a few fantastic and experienced subs who were very patient with me and willing to put the time into training me up when I was just starting out.

  10. sXaBeast 5 months ago

    Well put. Im into this myself and you are to the point.

    • sXaBeast 5 months ago

      Also, in general and most especially if any limits are pushed, don’t forget the aftercare. Be loving and show appreciation.

  11. dogsrgreat 5 months ago

    Thanks for posting this article. I encounter women all the time in the k9 scene who are looking for a DS relationship and I’m sorry to say that I don’t really understand their needs and possibly never will. I occasionally get flashes of insight – some sense of the games I would/could play in the putative role of dom, but those are elusive moments that may never stick with me.

    So, I appreciate your post because it represents a reasonable effort to improve understanding of a topic and I for one am not content to not understand a thing.

    It is clear though that there is a lot more to be said. You have presented your philosophy on what a dom is NOT and emphasised the importance of trust and dynamic sharing of power and control… But I am still curious, for example, about the transition that takes place between sexy time and normal day to day life, assuming for example a cohabiting relationship. What about the case of a FWB relationship? Do you guys approach the whole thing within a DS dynamic, or do you leave conventional boundaries and manners in place outside of the bedroom.

    I’m not pretending that I’ll ever fully understand. I don’t understand astrophysics either and I can live with that. Then again, sex is probably more fun than astrophysics so I feel understanding more about more kinds of sex should be given some priority in life.

    • Author
      DomCanine 5 months ago

      HI mate,

      I’m glad you found the blog, at least somewhat, helpful. In answer to your question above, it really depends on the relationship and the individual. For some, being a sub is a lifestyle. For these people, the D/s interactions will often continue during daily life, and this is where we often see the emergence of some subclasses of Dom/sub, like Daddy/lg, or Big/little where there are also significant elements and overtones of the sub ‘being taken care of’ where they will assume a relationship very similar to parent and child where one party is taking care of most daily stresses and duties, while the other is predominantly cared for, although often with chores and consequences for not doing them.

      More common are D/s relationships that only extend so far as the bedroom is concerned. These subs are often very independent, strong women who are likely assuming dominant roles in their daily lives, whether that be at home or work. For them, taking a submissive role during sex can be a great way to unwind, let go of the reins and just let things happen for once. In these cases, to help with the transition in and out of the D/s dynamic, it can be helpful if one – or both – parties have a specific uniform/costume/lingerie that they can wear during playtime to clearly define when they are, and are not currently engaging in that dynamic.

      Of course there are nearly limitless variations of these power-play structures and arrangements, but it all comes down to the point I made around communication and making sure that everyone is on the same page around what they do and don’t want the relationship to be.

      Hope that helps. Hopefully I get some more time in the future to write a few more of these, which might answer a few more questions.

  12. Meltycheese 5 months ago

    I appreciate this article being written. Thankyou. I do hope certain members take n note x

  13. Adam 5 months ago

    Agreed. One time at a fetish meet / dinner I sat opposite a young guy, looked about 22. Asked what his name was, MASTER Pedro (or whatever) he said. The guy looked like he’d never been with a Lady and just about mastered wiping his own ass. Everyone from Confucius to Dale Carnegie has stipulated that ‘dominance’ is a result of understanding – and as you have said, pure assholism is not dominance, and not likely to get anyone any control. Likewise Master is a title which implies a Mastery of something – starting with oneself. No wonder subs and slaves land a raw deal with teenagers slapping ‘Master’ at the front of their names. I’m thinking about doing a Master / Mistress certification course at some point, separate the effective from the bollox 😉

    • Author
      DomCanine 5 months ago

      Thanks mate. So far the response has been very positive, so I will have to find some time to write some more of these.

      Hope you don’t mind, but I will 100% be poaching that line about ‘Master is a title which implies a Mastery of something – starting with oneself’. That’s a great summary of something I have never been able to word properly.

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